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Mood: Cool
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Currently: Listening To iTunes
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Over the years I've noticed that in public, when dealing with those they don't know or aren't familiar with, most people are far more polite and inclined to keep quiet about things than in private, surrounded by friends and family. Why is this? Do humans, tapping into natural instincts dating to early-man days, self-consciously turn on some sort of inner mechanism when dealing with "other tribes"? If so, what is the purpose of this behavior, if any?
Consequently, I've noticed that people are inclined to adapt to similar behavior as the people they are surrounded by. I'm not going to read any books by any self-professed experts on the subject. My instinct tells me that yes, this particular behavior is rooted in the basic survival skills we are born with. The sucking ability all newborns have. The natural shying away from danger... fire, seeking shelter during storms, the flight or fight mechanism... how to deal with strangers.
Maybe I'm completely wrong here. Maybe its just that most humans have this perverse need to feel accepted (I do believe this), or to fit in. To be liked. To be admired. I think its completely normal to be this way in fact. But I get tired of it. The constant striving to be perfect in the eyes of others. Even those of you who claim you "don't care what people think of me. If you don't like it go fuck yourself." You're lying. You do care. Or you wouldn't have claimed that in the first place. This role people force themselves into is exhausting.
How many people say they are "totally unique". How many so-called individuals have claimed that they are one-of-a-kind, independent, or completely original? Some people are, I have no doubt about that. But unfortunately these are few and far in between, and when others realize hey, this person is truly not like the rest of us, that person becomes a commodity. I guess its fitting that Lady Gaga is playing on my iTunes right now, because she is a prime example of this phenomenon. Its disgusting how a truly unique individual can become so... generic.
I was watching my kids two days ago, fresh off of a time-out, as they danced to whatever music I had playing at the time. My 3 year old looks at me and says "mom, are you ok?" And it occurred to me that my kids have never seen the facade put on by me for other people. I asked myself why? I put them on time-out, take away their toys when they misbehave. They've seen me cry, and yell, and wake up in the morning with jacked up hair. They've seen me in my underwear. They've seen me through everything. They still love me. WHY?
Because of this, I feel no need to hide anything about myself from them, instinctive or otherwise.
Later that day I was browsing in a little gift shop. One of those places where they have something of everything and nothing most people would bother buying. I was looking at belt buckles and I asked the guy showing them to me if he had one in the shape of a scorpion. he says, "No, but I do have this one in a crab which looks like a scorpion."
I paused.
I'd been about to respond with a polite no thanks. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said "That doesn't look like a scorpion. It looks like a crab." He was... for lack of a better word, flustered. I suppose most people wouldn't have bothered to say anything. But the more I thought about it the more I realized how absurd it was. I was being polite to a guy who would sell me a belt buckle in the shape of a crab if he could convince me that it looks like a scorpion. To make a sale, obviously. How sad. I mean, its a very small thing in the great wide world, but still. Sad.
Shopkeeper: "It looks like a scorpion without a tail."
Me: "Nope, that is a crab."
Shopkeeper: "Well, if I hadn't told you it was a crab you would have thought it was a scorpion."
Me: "No. I would have known it was a crab. And I would have told you it was a crab. I know the difference between a scorpion and a crab."
I left that shop wondering why my first instinct was to keep my mouth shut. Be polite about it. Thus the basis for my next social experiment: Be my true self. All the time. This should be fun.
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