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whadu · Level 47: Snake Eater **Posts:** 31397 **Timestamp:** Sun Jun 22, 08 11:00 PM

An office building is shown with the words "Psyche Corporation" on it.

(interview) whadu: Well that was a long break, I'm glad to see our branch back up and running. I had no idea it would take this long to renovate the area so that it---

[ Mad barges into whadu's office ]

[ Mad stares at the camera man ]

[ whadu stares at the camera man ]

[ Mad coughs ]

[ The camera man walks out of the office ]

[ The camera man is shown listening in on Mad and whadu's conversation for the audience to hear ]

whadu: Okay wait, let me get this straight... Jumpin' Jack walks into the gas station...

[ Jack is shown walking into a gas station ]

whadu: ...Goes to buy some purple drink...

[ Jack is shown picking up a purple drink soda can ]

whadu: ...Goes to the counter...

[ Jack is shown walking to the counter ]

whadu: ...And then pulls out a fucking gun on the clerk!?

[ Jack is shown paying for the purple drink soda can ]

Mad: Yeah dude, the cops gotem! We gotta go over there and bust him out!

whadu: SHIT YEAH NIGGA!

[ whadu grabs his coat and a 9mm pistol ]

(interview) whadu: You don't arrest Jack and expect to live to tell about how you had a hod dog the next day.

[ The camera pans to the left while still in interview mode ]

(interview) Mad: That's not how it goes you dumbshit, it's you don't arrest Jack and expect to live to tell about it. Why the hell do we have a black running our branch?

(interview) whadu: If I wasn't the manager some Mexican would be.

(interview) Mad: Now that I think about it...

[ whadu and Mad are shown running out of the office ]

whadu: GUYS WE'LL BE BACK SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN!

Marie: WHADU YOU HAVE A MEETING WITH YOUR BOSS IN 5 MINUTES.

whadu: TELL HIM I HURT MY HEAD IN THE BATHROOM AGAIN.

(interview) Marie: whadu has this tendency to get himself involved with something RIGHT before he has something else planned. Like this one time--

Camera Man: I'm sorry we have to cut you out right here.

Marie: Why? I didn't even tell my story.

Cam Man: I know but we only have so much recording time, and better shit is about to go down.

Marie: Fine...

[ The camera man runs outside to catch whadu and Mad jumping on their tricycles ]

[ whadu and Mad are shown riding down the street in their tricycles ]

Monk: You know we really shouldn't trust those two alone...

Sparkie: Someone should follow them...

turtleman: I'LL DO IT.

[ turtleman jumps out of the closest window ]

Monk: That bastard...

whadu: YO WTF I THINK SOMEONE MESSED WITH MY BRAKES.

Mad: You're fucking riding it backwards you dumbshit.

[ whadu fixes his tricycle ]

Mad: Why are you manager again?

whadu: Because if I wasn't, some female would be.

Mad: Right.

[ turtle is shown jumping on a... turtlemobile? I'm sorry I really don't know what it is. I know my job as a narrator is to explain actions but I really don't know what the fuck that is. It's like, some kind of combination with the Bat Mobile and Curse's mom. That's the best description you're going to get from me pal ]

turtleman: And now, for the first time in history, I get to use my turtlemobile. It's actually a combination of the Bat Mobile from the Batman comics and Curse's mom, if you know what I mean. :heh:

whadu: Okay which jail did they take him to???

Mad: The one on 69th Avenue.

whadu: Okay let's go!

[ Mad turns left, whadu turns right ]

turtleman: WHAT THEY ARE SPLITTING?!?!

[ ...whadu turns left realizing he made the wrong turn ]

turtleman: Woo, that's a relief.

[ turtleman turns right ]

turtleman: FUCK.

[ turleman turns left ]

[ Jack is shown walking into the office building ]

Jack: Hey guys.

Office: Hey Jack.

Jack: Where's whadu?

Sparkie: I think he went to go order more supplies for the company.

Jack: Oh ok, that's cool.

[ Jack goes to his desk ]

[ Nuke walks into the office, Nuke walks into whadu's office, Nuke walks out of whadu's office ]

Nuke: Where the flip is whadu?

Jack: Out, somewhere... Probably pretending to fight crime.

Metal: Flip? FLIP? How old are you?

Nuke: Dude it's against my religion to curse.

whadu: Okay so what do we say when we get in?

Mad: Let me do all the talking.

whadu: Okay got it.

[ whadu turns his hat backwards, they both walk into the jail ]

Mad to counter-person: So I heard a couple of the inmates here like Mudkips?

Counter-person: Wha--

[ whadu sucker punches the counter-person ]

[ whadu runs pass security ]

Mad: What the fuck...

[ turtle walks into the jail to see a knocked out counter-person, and simply walks pass to the inner-jail ]

turtle: Counter-people sleeping on the job... I wonder where I am... I mean I know I saw "Police Station" outside, but look at this, there's no security... This is probably actually a... a crack deal hide out... Oh my god... What if Mad and whads are into drugs... WAIT. What if they do drugs together here... That could only mean one thing...

[ turtle waves for the camera man to come closer ]

turtle whispers: ...Wait. Is that a turtleman belt you have on?

Cam Man: Well actually yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me.

turt: DUDE THAT'S FUCKING SWEET.

[ The camera man puts the camera down and nothing can be seen ]

Cam Man: Yeah it was a Christmas present.

turt: You think you can find me one of those?

Cam Man: Yeah man I'll just ask her where she got it, no prob dude.

turt: Okay man 'cause I fucking love turtles, shit I would change my name to Turtleman but my mom won't let me. And she says no one would vote for a person named Turtleman to become president.

Cam Man: President?

turtleman: Yeah she has some fucked up idea that I'm going to become president one day, I just laugh.

[ turtleman takes out some weed ]

Cam Man: Dude, this is a police station...

turtleman: No that's what they want you to think, it's actually a crack spot.

Cam Man: Really?

turtle: Yeah man have some.

Cam Man: Nice thanks.

[ whadu and Mad come running out with an inmate that replicates the appearance of Jack ]

whadu: TURTLE RUN THE POLICE ARE AFTER US.

turtle: WTF?!?!

[ turtleman runs behind Mad and whadu, the camera man picks up his camera and begins to run, recording once again ]

[ The five, Mad, whadu, "Jack," turtleman Cam Man get outside ]

Mad: FUCK HOW ARE WE GONNA GET AWAY, WE GOT NOTHING.

turtleman: QUICK GUYS, MY TURTLEMOBILE! ... WHAT GOD DAMN IT SOMEONE SLASHED MY TIRES.

(interview) Cursed: No one makes fun of my mom. No one.

Cop 1: Okay guys give it up, we got you.

whadu: Niggerfaggot.

[ TJTheNative rolls up in a cadillac ]

TJ: GET THE FUCK IN!

[ The five jump into the car ]

[ The cops panic, and jump into their cars to pursue ]

whadu: TJ YOU ARE THE FUCKING MAN! REMIND ME NOT TO TAKE MONEY OUT OF YOUR PAYCHECK THIS WEEK.

TJ: What?

whadu: ...Nothing, keep your eyes on the road.

[ TJ stops the car ]

TJ: No seriously what the fuck did you just say?

whadu: I said remind me to not bake honey about of tour day neck...

TJ: Ohhhhh. I thought you were making fun of my driving skills at first.

(interview) TJ: Yeah whadu is weird sometimes.

[ TJ starts the car, cops tail ]

[ TJ stops at a red light ]

turtleman: Dude this is a high-speed chase what are you doing?

TJ: Man you can't just disobey the law like that.

[ The cops also stop at the red light ]

TJ: See man, even the law has respect for the law ]

Cop 1: Just wait 'till the light turns green, your penis is mine.

Cop 2: Yeeeeahhh, your penis will belong to him and his butt.

[ TJ looks at the camera with big eyes, then opens the car door and begins to run ]

whadu: ...

[ The rest do the same ]

[ The cops do the same ]

TJ: See you guys, you have to realize there are no red lights on the street.

[ TJ is about to cross the street, TJ stops for some reason ]

Mad: Why are you stopping???

TJ: It says not to walk dumbass.

Mad: Oh.

[ They wait ]

Cop 2: Hey why'd you guys stop???

Mad: It says not to walk.

Cop 2: Oh.

[ They all wait ]

[ The sign says walk ]

[ They all begin to run, until they get to the next street corner, and they stop again, they do this for three fucking blocks, I hate narrating, I should have gone to college ]

Cop 1: Okay guys I'm really tired, let's call it a day?

[ A few minutes later they are all shown drinking at a strip club ]

"Jack": How'd you find out about this place.

TJ: We got lost on a camping trip. If you know what I mean.

[ They all laugh ]

[ It wasn't really a joke, just in case you were wondering why they were laughing. It's just some stupid last minute reliever the writer added in. Just ignore it, and besides, the cops are creepy. I will own your penis? In my butt? That's crazy. Break on. ]

Cop 3: Penis.

[ The end image appears ]
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