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i've seen this game on several forums. all you do is comment the poster above you.
happy posting! =)

...that is the question. I've thought about going vegetarian for some time [not only would it be healthier, but it would also be another way of mine to support animal rights]. I've actually tried it once, but it didn't work out. for starters, the only meat I eat is chicken and turkey, occasionally shrimp, but I don't eat many vegetables. oh, and i don't wear real leather or suede [mainly because i can't afford it]. any ideas?

OK, I have a crush on someone, but I only get to talk to him once a week. He goes to the college adjacent to mine, and he's from Dominican Republic... he's hot. I want to hang out with him and go about asking for his number, but I don't know how to go about it. I almost gave myself an opportunity to hang out Friday because he doesn't have to work, but I brought up the possible play practice, and he brought up an opportunity to sleep in. It went OK, but he was studying, so we didn't get to talk much. And did I mention missing my opportunity to ask for his number? lol. Also, I've talked to him about hobbies, music interests, general stuff. I think I'm running out of topics, but I thought of talking about random stuff. Oh, and I asked him a couple questions about my Spanish. At this point, my crush and I are friends, but I want to make it more than that. Hopefully this isn't a pointless story... you can tell about your crush stories here if you want.

works kinda like the "Comment the Poster Above You" game, but instead, based on your knowledge and/or impression of the poster above you, make a prediction for them.

good news, guys! i'm on the callback list for a second interview scheduled this saturday at noon. bad news: if i choose to get a piercing or a tattoo, i would have to get them at places where i can hide them. oh well... i've always wanted my navel pierced for a while, and i could always find some place on my back to get a tattoo.

Do you believe that people choose to be gay? Feel free to vote and discuss here.

So today I talked to the crush. Part of the conversation included being in the school play. I told him he could come see me in the play if he wants to. He told me to let him know when the play dates were so he could find a time to come see me. Totally ecstatic, I told him the dates of the play and that I thought tickets were free this year, and he told me he'll do whatever he can to find a time to come see me (he works). I told him whatever time is best for him would be cool with me. I also found out some more about him.

8) ...I think he's interested... :dance:

anyone agree?

i'm not exactly new to this community, and i didn't think this thread would be appropriate for the Off-Topic, but i didn't see a thread anywhere about screenname stories, so i might as well start one! anyway, you can offer the story of your screenname here.

i'll start...

hippityhop05 - i graduated in 2005, and i'm a hiphop dancer who likes to be creative. hence hippityhop05

I discovered a beauty secret! Next time you're shaving your legs, but you're out of shaving gel, shave 'em with baby oil instead! Upon shaving, the end result will be softer legs and (hopefully) no nicks. Give it a try... you may want to ditch the shaving gel after all...

so tell me something about yourselves...

i'll start:

i'm trying to produce a tv show and write a novel while balancing school and the job and hope to take a hiphop class thru a studio rather than my school.

oh, and i ♥ talan torriero. thus the avatar image. and daddy yankee. and adam brody. and elijah wood. and channing tatum. and ephraim ellis. and steve byers. hehe.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070214/ap_on_re_us/abortion_death_ce rtificates

Discuss here.

i'd hate to quit my job at walmart because it's my primary source of income and a way for me to get money for school and other big things (car, laptop, etc). but it seems like my customers hate me. i'm getting more and more complaints from them each day, and i wouldn't be surprised if i caused the company to lose customers. i feel like a biotch who doesn't sincerely care about her customers, even though i've done the best i can to make them happy (even though i've had the occasional few piss me off and get me frustrated). i'm thinking in the back of my head, "if you don't like how i'm doing my job, why don't you just fire me?". i'm not asking to get fired, but i have a great feeling that somebody wants to get me fired... they're just too scared to turn me in to more powerful management who is capable of firing me. wow, i'm definitely expecting a poor evaluation whenever it's due to come.

feel free to read the article: http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/6165/whats-the-differe nce-between-flirting-and-cheating and then discuss here!

this is a poem I wrote the day after my boyfriend broke up with me. I hope you all like it.

Lover
I think about you
I imagine you
Always by my side,
Loving me
Caressing me
Even when I cry.
You’re always there
Even when
I subconsciously push you away.
You’re always wanting
To share good times,
As well as intimate moments.
Lover, I know you’re waiting
I see you standing there,
Willing to give me what I need
And love me as I am.
You respect my dreams and wishes
And treat them as your own.
You’re willing to believe in me
When I can’t believe in myself.
You’re a winner in every way.
You always enjoy my company.
You look forward to being with me
Every chance you get.
Lover, just so you know
I’m on my way to you
I hope that you’re still standing there
By the time I finish my route.

Fresh Kids is going to be a very fun faction on BC, as we all know. Recruitment was awesome. I have decided to make Kaiser my recruitment chair since he likes to recruit people. All of us are here to come up with ideas on how to make BC funner than it already is and to keep peace at a stable level. As for members, BigN is our newest member, although a transfer member (originally from C.U.N.T.).

Membership so far:
-Hippityhop05
-Tlyrics89
-2cool2spy
-KaiserGX
-Zerograv
-tanner
-BigNFanboy

FK's future is looking bright! Keep it up, ya'll.

so my "crush" and i had an email exchange lasting up to like, 1:30 in the morning, and suddenly we got to the subject of sex. we talked about it, and then i discovered the guy's true intentions: he wants friends w/benefits, basically someone who's hookup material, and i want him (or hopefully some other nice, cute guy among such guys left) to see me as girlfriend material someday. the stupid thing was this: i saw some potential in him. i saw him as a Dominican church boy (he told me about being active in his church). oh well, i guess we're still friends for the time being, and he's certainly not the typical church boy i pictured him to be.

Here:

http://go.care2.com/e/R2ZR/b9qg/n8fz

So I finally named my faction: Fresh Kids of BC, better known as the Fresh Kids. So far I've got the following people:

-myself (hippityhop05)
-Tlyrics89
-2cool2spy

So recruit! 8)

I auditioned for the Vagina Monologues last night, and I just got a callback from the director (who's only like, 2 years older than me) telling me that I have two parts. I'm like... VERY happy. In case any of you haven't heard of the Vagina Monologues, its main issue is violence against women. It's a series of monologues (or composite monologues) told by real women, hence "the Vagina Monologues." I'm especially happy because women's rights is one of the issues I care very deeply about, and I can relate to some of the women whose stories are heard in the show.

Kinda like Comment the Person, but you comment the person's sig. Begin! =)

Feel the need to b-tch about school and homework and teachers and stupid people and all the things associated with school? Welcome to the Official B-tch About School Thread. I'll start with my issues:

I have this history midterm on Thursday, and I barely cracked open the textbook. But I heard from different students who have had the professor's class that his tests are over the notes, not the textbook. Saves me time, I'm sure. But I'm having a hard-ass time getting around to finishing the essays, let alone looking over my notes and syllabus (where the study sheet is). I should drop the class, but my parents won't let me because I already had to drop my stats class (due to the fact that my instructor was foreign and evil).

I guess I'm done b-tching. For now.

my ex is still on my facebook friends list. i'm surprised. he just deleted the friend details i wrote for him (we met thru brenda, we dated, etc). i figured he would delete me.

I'll start...

[to his father] "Your son has a nice ass... he must have gotten it from you."

what is everyone's favorite TV show(s)? mine are

-the OC
-Falcon Beach
-Fresh Prince of Bel Air
-Three's Company
-Roseanne
-Laguna Beach
-the Loop

I finally got fired from Wal Mart after a month and a half of working there. I got several customer complaints, and I got b-tched at for being rude and slow and unwilling to help, blah blah f--king blah. Although I didn't take it too hard in the managers' office and on the way out of my former workplace (I ended up hating the job), I got really pissed and had a bawl fest on the way home. I ended up calling one of my friends to tell them about it, despite my dying battery. They weren't able to help me much. Hopefully some of you can help me get thru this... and hopefully I can find a job elsewhere.

OK, guys, here's the objective to this game:
you offer a couple lyrics to a theme song, and you guess which show it's from. I'll start w/something easy (considering I don't exactly watch much TV).

GUESS THE SHOW:
Come and knock on our door... (come and knock on our door)
We'll be waiting for you... (we'll be waiting for you)

this is the story game, where each player will deliver a sentence or a paragraph and then the next player will do the same thing. I will start (the Gamespot ACC people probably know what I'm talking about):

Once upon a time, there was a lonely, isolated pizza place...[/b]

here are some things my ex (Nick) has said over the time we were together and over the time he was breaking up with me. also on my blog. NOTE: Brenda is my cousin, Jody is her boyfriend.

-Brenda and Jody are probably sexually active (he also periodically referred to Brenda as “loose”).
-Either your friends have had bad first times, or they’re more conservative than you.
-We can be friends, but we can’t be lovers.
-Your therapist isn’t a relationship therapist, so he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
-We shouldn’t have to force ourselves into an adult relationship that’s not there.
-(to Brenda) Rebekah told me things you don’t know about.
-If we were to stay together, I may end up hurting you, and I don’t want to hurt you.
-Dork.
-(passing Claire’s after I somehow dragged him into Vanity) You’ve already had your girly fix for the day.
-(when talking about going to Urban Outfitters) I think we should wait until a relationship-related anniversary comes along or around six months to a year. (after I get mad) See what I have to go through each day?
-While I treat you like a part of my life, you treat me like the center of your world.
-(referring to Pirates of the Caribbean) Don’t tell me you didn’t like it. That was a good movie.
-(referring to occasional makeout sessions during movies) I love you, but it seems like I can’t take you to movies with me.
-I’m in it for the long haul.
-I will never leave you.
-We can only get closer.
-I’m not taking sex lightly.
-Are you willing to walk on your own, or would you still use depression as a crutch?
-What is your obsession?
-I swear, you’re obsessed with HIV and other people’s sexual histories.
-Your attitude tires me because it takes so much energy to assure you. (or something along these lines)
-(when going into a store I want to go into) Goddamnit, why do we have to go in here?
-(Victoria’s Secret) Why are we looking at a bunch of overpriced sh-t?
-Don’t push me away.
-(after first failed attempt to pressure me to have sex) I am so sorry.
-(referring to Wal Mart) You only took the job so you can do more things for me.

I’ll think of more later…

i'm not exactly new, just back. how's everyone been?

anyone know of some odd food mixes? here are a few:

-scrambled eggs with ketchup
-lemon chicken and Miracle Whip (mine)
-french fries and Frosties

here we can put in our own lingo and establish a language. just give a nice little [but clear] definition of what the word or expression means

Vote for your favorite faction here.

perhaps there's already a thread like this, but discuss your favorite Fresh Prince moments here!

i've been sneezing for awhile, but last night, my throat started to feel sore, and i was blowing my nose more than ever. in the middle of the night, my throat got REALLY sore, like, scratchy. my throat's not as sore, but i'm still sneezing, blowing my nose, and (i know this is gross, but...) hacking up phlegm. and yes, i did take my allergy medicine this morning.

you'll like this part:

I HAVE MY FLIPPIN' OPEN CALL TOMORROW!

[respond and see what YOU get. the response will look like the thread title]

-BIRTHDAY MONTH

JANUARY-----------I KICKED
FEBRUARY---------I PUNCHED
MARCH-------------I KILLED
APRIL---------------I F-CK UP
MAY-----------------I SLAPPED
JUNE----------------I BEAT UP
JULY-----------------I DREAMED ABOUT
AUGUST------------I F-CKED UP
SEPTEMBER--------I RAPPED ABOUT
OCTOBER-----------I ATE
NOVEMBER---------I B-TCH SLAPPED
DECEMBER---------I MADE OUT WITH

- DAY [NUMBER] YOU WERE BORN ON

1--------1000 PEOPLE
2--------MY FRIENDS PANTS
3--------A HOBO
4--------YOU
5--------A HOE
6-------- MYSELF
7--------A MEXICAN
8--------P.DIDDY
9--------A LAWN MOWER
10-------MY EX
11-------MY BOYFRIEND
12-------MY TRUE LOVE
13-------A PREP
14-------A PICKLE
15-------A HOMO
16-------A FOOTBALL PLAYER
17-------A WHITE BOY
18-------A SPOON
19-------A LESBIAN
20-------A SEXY B-TCH
21-------A BANANA
22------- A GOTH
23-------HIM/HER
24-------A TREE
25-------MY NEIGHBOR
26-------A WANKSTA
27-------SPONGEBOB
28-------A NOODLE
29-------MY BEST FRIEND'S BOYFRIEND
30-------MY EX
31-------MY UNCLE

- COLOR OF YOUR SHIRT

WHITE---------BECAUSE THAT B-TCH STOLE MY TACO
BLACK----------BECAUSE IM EMO
PINK------------BECAUSE IM BALLIN
BLACK&RED--------BECAUSE THE VOICES TOLD ME TO.
BLUE------------BECAUSE I CAN DO THAT SH-T
GREEN----------BECAUSE THAT’S HOW I ROLL
PURPLE---------BECAUSE I CAN
GRAY------------BECAUSE I KEEP IT GANGSTA
NO SHIRT OR IN A TOWL------BECAUSE IM JUS A PLAIN THUG
ORANGE--------BECAUSE THAT’S HOW I ROLL.
RED-------------BECAUSE I GOT HIGH
TEAL------------BECAUSE I WAS DRUNK.
BROWN--------- BECAUSE IM SEXY AND I DO WHATEVER I WANT.
STRIPED--------BECAUSE UR MOM SAID SO
TURQUOISE----BECAUSE I LOVE HIM/HER
TAN-------------BECAUSE HE WAS FINE
TYE DIE---------BECAUSE IM IN LOVE
OTHER----------BECAUSE IT WAS ILLEGAL

This is the most hilarious, blanket statement-filled bullsh-t I have come across in ages.

Is My Little Baby Going to Go Gay?

Handy Homo Prevention Tips For Concerned Parents With Suspect Toddlers

A parent can never act too soon in taking precautionary measures to ensure that their child will never become intoxicated with mommy's perfume and choose to devote his life to being a prancing homo. By being both proactive and willing to inflict welts for Jesus, you can beat Satan at his own sick game and prevent him from turning your impressionable child into an ugly, rotting twig in the family tree crying out for brutal pruning.

Christian Doctors at Landover Baptist Hospital's Homosexual Reparative Extreme-Psycho-Stabilization Ward have put together a handy list of preventative tips for concerned parents with newborns or toddlers. Please print out these Godly reminders and pop them in your purse the moment your water breaks for handy reference.

Early Child Development Homo Prevention Tips

1. A boy must not sit on a toilet unless he is having a bowel movement. Standing straight up, not hunched over while urinating, is a sign of manliness. Squatting on a toilet seat (especially if he hovers to avoid the urine of others or prissily wipes the seat with a square of toilet tissue) to pee is not only effeminate but a sign of shame! It is a secret hobby that homosexuals use in their daily lives. It is a scientific fact that when needing to use the restroom, a male is called upon to engage in the unpleasant undertaking of extruding a poopy in only 1 out of every 3 visits. But homosexuals use all three visits to practice squatting, to limber the cheeks of their bottom in preparation for even the most enormous (Negro) penises. Such calisthenics are neither necessary nor advisable for men who have no intention of squatting over an engorged penis. As soon as your child is able to walk on two feet, you must make that sure he is taught to stand proudly in front of a private or public toilet seat, and to speak not a word, especially in response to the coy whispers of Catholic priests in the next stall.

2. A boy must eat everything on his plate. But if your son pesters you to serve corn on the cob, hot dogs or sausages, that is your signal to change his diet. Try serving meals that more effectively evoke a hankering for the fragrant delights of the female genitalia. An artichoke stuffed with tuna fish will usually do the trick.

3. A boy must always wear socks, except while swimming. So-called, "flip-flops" and "sandals," where the toes and ankles are exposed are products that were created during the (homo)sexual revolution. Creation research indicates that these types of provocative "shoes," were invented by homosexuals in San Fransissyco during the late 1960's with fetishes for little boy ankles. Thwart the perverted delight of these pedo-pedophiles with a thick pair of tube socks!

4. A boy must not be allowed to watch cartoons of any kind. He should spend Saturday mornings sitting quietly by his Father's side (with a respectful 3" between the male bodies), watching sports that don't involve male leotards. He must watch Football, Basketball, Baseball and Boxing. Soccer is not a sport for civilized people and often results in alarmingly long, uncut penises escaping from very alluring satin shorts. Soccer appeals only to poor, uneducated halflings from underdeveloped countries where the women grow mustaches twice as fast as the men. Make your child aware of this. When there are no sports on TV, take your boy out in the backyard and throw the football or play catch with a very hard baseball. Under no circumstances: wrestle in shorts, especially if your son is strapping, handsome and sporting a noticeably turgid crotch.

5. A boy must not play with dolls. If your boy has a young sister, forbid him from entering her room except for the purposes of the type of ordinary heterosexual experimentation that occurs in any Christian household. If you catch your male child playing with dolls, Landover Baptist Child Psychologists recommended that you shave his head, and sit him out at the end of the driveway with a sign around his neck that says, "I'm a Sissy Boy Who Plays With Dolls – Mailman: Why don't you just go ahead and stick something in my mouth?." This method of prevention has a 99.5% success rate (unless your particular mailman is young and attractive).

6. A boy must not refer to his parents as "Mommy" or "Daddy." As soon as your boy is old enough to speak, he must be taught to call his Mother, "Ma," or "Momma" or "Mommie Dearest." When addressing his Father, he should refer to him as, "Sir," "Dad," or "Commander." "Mommy" and "Daddy" are what fey, spoiled boys weaned on effeminacy coo, embarrassing you in front of the neighbors by never keeping the palms of their hands below their waists.

7. A boy must always wear thick, white underwear. White boxers, and/or briefs are acceptable. Your child must be taught that men who wear colored underwear or undergarments that are cut within one inch of the outer periphery of their pubic region or the trough of the valley between the cheeks of their bottom are either European or Homosexual – and in America there is no difference between the two.

8. A boy must never cry or pout. Crying, pouting or showing feelings are weak and feminine traits. After the natural tears of infancy, brought on by a child's traumatic exit from the spiritual realm of Heaven, to the horrible shock every young man experiences in seeing his very own mother's hairy, dilated vagina, and into this Devil run world we call, "Earth," your boy must be taught to stop crying. It usually takes a normal child several weeks to get over its birth – even when using daily submersions into ice-water.If your child is still crying after three weeks, please drop him off at the Creation Science Laboratory for the remainder of the year and for a determination of whether he is worth having back.

9. A boy must not use brightly colored crayons or any crayons from any colors of a rainbow. Christian parents should remove and destroy any suspiciously colored crayons from their boy's box of Crayolas. This needs no explanation, as we here at Landover Baptist are all familiar with Mr. Crayola's so-called "alternate lifestyle," and his reason for putting "Pansy Pink" and "Engorged Penis Head Purple" into his boxes are quite obvious. A boy must also draw in straight lines. Some curves are fine, but if you suspect your child of "doodling," and see that he is using more curves than straight lines, please call your Pastor immediately.

10. A boy must not skip or prance. You must not allow your boy to attend any school where they teach the children to "skip," or play "hopscotch" in Physical Education class. Creation Scientists have proved that such activities are the precursor to cross-dressing, appreciation for poetry, a sardonic display of irony and the rampant shoplifting of skin care products.

From http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0704/homoprevention.html.

I've been posting a lot of stuff here on BC, despite my busy schedule. I won't leave permanently unless everyone here wants me to, but depending on how hectic things get for me at school, and the number of threads I can respond to somehow that are posted on here, I might not be on here for awhile. I'm in a play, and I have less than 2 weeks to memorize my lines (and I have quite a few of them), modeling every Saturday morning for 15 weeks, and school (never dreamed history would be this time-consuming). For those of you who have Myspace and/or Facebook, I'll probably check those at least once a day, mainly because a lot of my friends from school are on. Don't get me wrong — BC is a priority in a sense, but so is school, modeling, and my play. You know, I WOULD like to pass my classes this quarter. Maybe get a job.

So yeah... although I may be on Myspace and Facebook, I may not be on BC as much if I am at all. I'll try to find time to log on, but I feel as if I don't fit in here, due to the fact that I'm not a hardcore gamer. But whatever.

Tootaloo, everyone. And break on.

Although I myself have participated in a good majority of these political debates, if not all of them, I've been seeing a lot of them lately. I want to say that it's not my intention (or hopefully anyone else's intention) to divide BC and its people. I've never tried to attack anyone here, and I know that no one is saying that I have. Personally, I'd like to see some political debates and intellectual discussion because I see that we're capable of having such discussions/debates, provided we don't attack each other due to our differing beliefs. Perhaps we can find ways to make them funner and less "threatening."

self-explanatory thread. another thing for me to celebrate besides the Fresh Kids being the fastest growing BC faction. w00t.
8)

what are some your pet peeves?

Here are some of mine:
-People who love to hear themselves talk
-People who don't take "no" for an answer
-People who say, "Can I ask you a question?"
-People who can't tell the difference between there, their, and they're, same with your and you're
-Slow drivers
-Stupid, ignorant, or racist people
-Homophobes
-People who intentionally leave their speakerphones on or talk very loudly into their cell phones
-Drivers who don't signal when changing lanes and/or pull out in front of me
-Rude people
-Long lines and people who hold up or jump lines
-People who use or manipulate other people
-Overly conservative people
-Overly negative people

if I think of any more I will post them

another fun thing I obtained from Myspace. your response will look like the thread title.

pick the stereotype that fits you
{{{{none of these is right}}}

I'm SOUTHERN so I MUST be racist

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be bulimic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm BLONDE AT HEART, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a b-tch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST be "evil" and not have any morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

.I'm a DANCER, So i must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm PUNK, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big PENIS.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST be a slut.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be a slut.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I have BiG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a HOT MOM and small cock.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good be conceited

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas

Im a STONER so i MUST be going in the wrong direction

Im a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.

Im Serbian (European)so i must be hott

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl i see is hot.

I'm ASIAN so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so i MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly

i had a bad day today. at work and at home. in case anyone cares, i'll tell about it.

it started with my ex saying that i can't move on and that i dwell on him. he also leaves comments under the name Gerry. then i go to work and have to deal with an angry customer who doesn't want her stuff because i voided her check (she didn't have her ID with her, and the check thing asked for ID), so i had an entire cart of merchandise to take over to courtesy desk. then one of the CSM's (customer service managers) asks me if i REALLY aborted the transaction. i did. then, towards the end of my shift, these two ladies w/like, 200 items altogether complain about how slow i am, so another CSM comes up and tells me i need to work on my speed because it took a ½-hour to check those people out. then, at the end of my shift, yet another CSM tells me that someone saw me talking on my cell while i was helping push carts. then my mom came in because a coworker or two caught me bawling. then when i got home, my cousin returned my call and gave me a lecture on not putting things online that i don't want people to read. then my mom interrogated me about it and is now going to tell my cousin, who will stab me in the back enough to tell my mom that i wrote some stuff about my ex online. i told my mom that it's none of her business, but she wants to talk to my cousin. i told my mom not to talk to my cousin by telling her some things about my ex's blog i commented on. everyone's on my case, basically...

someone get me a razor so i can slit my wrists (or maybe some pills and/or drugs) and relieve my pain...

I know this is kinda long... but it's worth posting. I found this on a Myspace bulletin.

DUMB LAWS

Alabama
• Anniston: You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.
• Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
• Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
• Children of incestuous couples are deemed legitimate.
• Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
• Hunting is not allowed on Sunday.
• Incestuous marriages are legal.
• It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
• It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
• It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.
• It is illegal to stab yourself to gain someone's pity.
• It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
• It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
• It is legal to drive the wrong way on a one way street if you have a lantern on the front of your car.
• It is unlawful to wear women's pumps with sharp, high heels.
• It's against the law for a man to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery or a promise of marriage."
• It's illegal to play dominoes on Sunday.
• Jasper: It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
• Lee County: It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.
• Masks may not be worn in public
• Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.
• Mobile: It is unlawful to howl at ladies inside the city limits. It is unlawful to wear women's pumps with sharp, high heels.
• Montgomery: It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of it spooking horses.
• No persons may sell "blow-out nuts".
• Peanuts are not allowed to be sold in Lee County, Alabama after sunset on Wednesdays.
• Pool halls may not be operated between 11:30 PM and 6 AM.
• Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
• Slavery is still legal in Decatur, Alabama.
• Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.
• Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.
• You cannot chain your alligator to a fire hydrant.
• You may not drive barefooted.
• You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
• You must have windshield wipers on your car.

Alaska
• A law in Fairbanks does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.
• Even though it is legal to hunt a bear, it is illegal to wake a bear and take a picture for photo opportunities.
• Fairbanks: It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
• In Alaska it is illegal to whisper in someone's ear while they are moose hunting.
• It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
• Kangaroos are not allowed in barber shops at any time.
• Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
• State policy states that emergencies are held to a minimum and rarely found to exist.
• While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

Arizona
• A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
• Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony (This goes back in the days of the Wild West).
• Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.
• Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
• Glendale: Cars may not be driven in reverse.
• Hayden: If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined.
• Hunting camels is prohibited.
• In 1985, an Arizona legislator proposed that each candidate for the legislature take a reading and an I.Q. test three months before the election. The scores would have been posted on the ballot, had the bill passed. But a majority of legislators, for whatever reason, voted it down.
• In Arizona it is illegal to take naked photographs before noon on Sunday.
• It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
• It is illegal to hunt camels in the state of Arizona.
• It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
• Maricopa County: No more than six girls may live in any house.
• Mesa: It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license.
• Mohave County: A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
• Nogales: An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.
• Oral sex is considered to be sodomy.
• Prescott: No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house.
• There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
• Tucson: Women may not wear pants.
• When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.
• When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses.
• You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

Arkansas
• A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
• A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
• A voter is only allowed five minutes to mark his ballot.
• Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
• An Arkansas legislator not long ago proposed that the state provide growth hormones to dwarfs.
• Arkansas must be pronounced "Arkansaw"
• At Arkansas State University two people cannot hold hands while standing in a doorway unless they belong to a union.
• Fayetteville: It is illegal to kill "any living creature".
• Flirtation between the members of the opposite sex on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.
• In Arkansas it is illegal to buy or sell blue lightbulbs.
• It's illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas in that state.
• Little Rock: Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.; Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term; It is unlawful to walk one's cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday; No person shall sound the horn on a vehicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 P.M. -Little Rock City Code Sec. 18-54
• Oral sex is considered to be sodomy.
• The Arkansas legislature passed a law that states that the Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.

California
• A city ordinance states that a $500 fine will be given to anyone who detonates a nuclear device within city limits.
• Alhambra: You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit.
• Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
• Arcadia: Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.
• Baldwin Park: Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
• Bathhouses are against the law.
• Belvedere City Council order reads: "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."
• Blythe: You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.
• Burlingame: It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds; Carmel Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed when Clint Eastwood was mayor); Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.
• Chico: Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.
• Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
• Downey: It is illegal to wash your car in the street. (Passed 1995).
• Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited.
• Hollywood: It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
• In 1930, the City Council of Ontario passed an ordinance forbidding roosters to crow within the city limits.
• In an animal shelter, lizards and snakes are treated under the same guidelines as cats and dogs.
• In Baldwin Park, California nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
• In California it is illegal to have caller ID
• In California you may not set a mouse trap without a hunting license.
• In California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
• In Los Angeles a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap. Consent should be given prior to the event, as is carefully stipulated.
• In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
• In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
• It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
• It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.
• It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.
• It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
• It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
• It is illegal to eat an orange in your bath tub
• It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.
• It is illegal to set a mouse trap without a hunting license.
• Lafayette: You are forbidden to spit on the ground within 5 feet of another person.
• Lodi: It is illegal to own or sell "Silly String".
• Lompoc: It is illegal to posses, own or raise roosters. This is considered disturbing the peace.
• Long Beach: Cars are the only item allowed in a garage; It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.
• Los Angeles law forbids hunting moths under a street light.
• Los Angeles: It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent; You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time; You may not hunt moths under a street light; It is illegal to cry on the witness stand; Toads may not be licked; It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church (Breaking this law is punishable by a fine of $500 and/or six months in prison); Zoot suits are prohibited.
• Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants.
• Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
• No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
• Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
• One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.
• Ontario: Roosters may not crow in the city limits.
• Pacific Grove: Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
• Palm Springs: It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.
• Pasadena: It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.
• Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.
• Prunedale: Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house.
• Redlands: Motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is wallking ahead of it.
• Riverside: One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.
• San Diego: It is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar; The owners of houses with Christmas lights on them past February second may be fined up to $250.
• San Francisco is said to be the only city in the nation to have ordinances guaranteeing sunshine to the masses.
• San Francisco: Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash; It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear; Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street; It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner; Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited.
• San Jose: It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs. -Ord. 7.08.595
• Santa Monica: You may not play percussion instruments on the beach.
• Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
• Temecula: Ducks have the right of way to cross Rancho California St. at all times.
• The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
• Women may not drive in a house coat.
• You can be fined $500 if you bother a butterfly in Pacific Grove, Ca.

Colorado
• Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
• Colorado law requires that wine be sold in containers of at least 24 ounces and spirits in containers at least a fifth of a gallon. But, at the same time, it also decrees that no alcohol beverage can be stored in hotel minibars in anything larger than miniature containers.
• Colorado Springs: It is permissible to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.
• Crippe Creek: It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.
• Denver: The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park; It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor; It is illegal to mistreat rats; You may not drive a black car on Sundays.
• Durango: It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex.
• Have you ever had the urge to rip the tag from a pillow or mattress, despite the warning of dire penalties? Well, it's perfectly legal now, if you live in Colorado. The Governor formalized the law by gleefully tearing a label from a pillow at his office. "I've been worrying about the mattress inspector jumping through the window for years," he said.
• In Colorado it's now legal to remove the furniture tags that say, "Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law."
• In Denver, Colorado it is illegal for Barber's to give massages to nude customers unless it is for instructional purposes.
• In Denver, it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next door neighbor.
• It is against the law in Pueblo, Colorado, to raise or permit a dandelion to grow within the city limits.
• It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep in Logan County, Colorado.
• It is illegal for a woman wearing a red dress to be out on the streets after 7 PM.
• It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.2% alcohol.
• It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.
• Logan County: It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
• No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days.
• Pueblo: It is illegal to let a dandelion grow within the city limits.
• Sterling: Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.
• Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.

Connecticut
• A local ordinance in Atwoodville, Connecticut prohibits people from playing Scrabble while waiting for a politician to speak.
• A pickle is not officially a pickle unless it bounces
• Cattle branding in the United States did not originate in the West. It began in Connecticut in the mid-nineteenth century, when farmers were required by law to mark all their pigs.
• Devon: It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
• Druggists in Connecticut must pay $400.00 each year for a license in order to use alcohol in compounding prescriptions.
• Guilford: Only white Christmas lights are allowed for display.
• Hartford: You aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands;
• In Connecticut any dogs with tattoos must be reported to the police.
• In Connecticut it is illegal to pirouette while crossing the street
• In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
• In Hartford, Connecticut, it is illegal to kiss your wife on Sunday.
• In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.
• It is illegal to discharge a firearm from a public highway.
• It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.
• It's illegal to clam at night in Connecticut.
• New Britain: It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire.
• No one may use a white cane, unless they are blind.
• Southington: Silly string is banned.
• The marriage of imbeciles and feeble-minded persons is prohibited.
• This state still retains an old law forbidding any kind of "private sexual behavior between consenting adults."
• Under the Code of 1650 in the New Haven Colony (in what is now Connecticut), a 16-year-old boy could be put to death if he "cursed, struck or disobeyed" his parents or was "stubborn or rebellious."
• Waterbury: It is illegal for any beautician to hum, whistle, or sing while working on a customer.
• You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.
• You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
• You cannot buy any alcohol after 8pm or on Sundays.
• You may not educate dogs.

Delaware
• Delaware prohibits horse racing of any kind on Good Friday and Easter Sunday.
• In Delaware it is illegal to get married on a dare.
• In Delaware you may not sell dead people for money without a license.
• It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.
• Lewes: It is illegal to wear pants that are "firm fitting" around the waist; Getting married on a dare is grounds for an annulment.

D.C.
• A D.C. federal judge has ruled that begging is a form of free speech protected by the Constitution. That means that mugging is free speech too, only more persuasive.
• In Washington D.C. it is illegal to post a notice in public which calls another person a 'coward' for refusing to accept a challenge to duel.
• The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
• The U.S. government says it's a crime to give false weather reports.

Florida
• (SARASOTA) It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
• A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
• Big Pine Key: It is illegal to molest a Key deer; If caught one will be fined or will have to go to jail.
• Cape Coral: It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline; It it illegal to park a pick-up truck in your driveway or in front of your house on the street (This law is limited to only those who do not own the house)
• Daytona Beach: The molestation of trash cans is banned; While intoxicated, being under influence of narcotics is prohibited; It shall be unlawful for any person to swim or bathe in that portion of the Atlantic Ocean within the corporate limits of the city when under the influence of intoxicating liquor or narcotic drugs to the extent that his or her normal faculties are impaired;
• Florida deals with its prostitution problem by giving prostitutes spending money, a five-year banishment, and a bus ticket out of town.
• Florida law forbids rats to leave the ships docked in Tampa Bay.
• Florida prohibits topless walking or running within a 150 foot zone between the beach and the street.
• Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
• Hialeah: Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.
• If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
• In Florida failure to tell your neighbor his house is on fire is illegal.
• In Florida it is illegal to fish while driving across a bridge.
• In Florida, a special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
• In Florida, men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
• In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays may be jailed.
• In Miami, Florida it is illegal for a man to wear any kind of strapless gown.
• In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.
• In Sarasota it is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
• In Saratoga, Florida it is illegal to sing while wearing a bathing suit.
• It is considered an offense to shower naked.
• It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road.
• It is illegal to fart in a public place after 6:00pm on a Thursday.
• It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
• It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
• It's illegal in Florida for an unmarried man and woman to live together in "open and gross lewdness." Connecticut once had a similar law, but only the woman was penalized.
• Key West: Chickens are considered a 'protected species'.
• Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
• Miami: It is illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown; No person shall operate a bicycle unless it is equipped with a bell or device capable of giving a signal audible for a distance of at least 100 feet, but no bicycle shall be equipped with, nor shall any person use upon a bicycle, any siren or whistle.
• Oral sex is illegal.
• Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
• Pensacola: Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person; It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel; A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils.
• Pinecrest: In order to operate a burglar alarm, a permit must be obtained.
• Sanford Stage: Nudity is banned, with the exception of "bona fide" theatrical performances. Violating this ordinance results in a $100 fine.
• Sarasota: If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00; You may not catch crabs.
• Tampa Bay: It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.
• When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
• Women can be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. The salon owner can also be fined for this horrible crime.
• Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
• You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
• You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
• You may not kiss your wife's breasts.

Georgia
• Acworth: All citizens must own a rake.
• Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
• Atlanta: Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp; One man may not be on another man's back.
• Columbus: Can't cut off a chicken's head on Sunday; It is illegal to carry a chicken by it's feet down Broadway on Sunday.
• Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
• Gainesville: Chicken must be eaten with the hands.
• In Quitman, It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
• It is illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless the shades are down.
• It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy" in Jonesboro.
• It is illegal to take a bath of orange peel.
• It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.
• It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.
• Jonesboro: It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy"
• Kennesaw: Every head of household must possess a firearm of some kind.
• Marietta: Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.
• Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
• No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday.
• One man may not be on another man's back.
• Signs are required to be written in English.
• St. Mary's: No spitting on the sidewalk is permitted after dark.
• Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.
• You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fighting" words.

Hawaii
• All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat.
• Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears.
• Honolulu: Within the limits of any public park, it is unlawful to annoy any bird.
• In Hawaii it is illegal to get a tattoo behind your ear or on your eyelid unless in the presence of a registered physician.
• It used to be the law in Hawaii that children had to obey all "lawful and moral" commands of their parents.
• It's illegal for a shooting gallery to offer liquor as a prize. The shooter might want to come back after drinking the prize and try again.
• You will be fined if you do not own a boat.

Idaho
• Boise: Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back.
• Coeur d' Alene: If a police officer approaches a vehicle and suspects that the occupants are engaging in sex, he must either honk, or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching the car.
• Idaho Falls, Idaho: If you're 88 years of age or older, it's illegal for you to ride your motorcycle.
• Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
• If a police officer approaches a vehicle and suspects that the occupants are engaging in sex, he must either honk, or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching the car.
• Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
• In Pocatello, Idaho, a law passed in 1912 provided that "The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless same are exhibited to public view."
• It's illegal to hunt from the back of an anima.
• It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.
• Pocatello: A law passed in 1912 provided that "The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless some are exhibited to public view"; A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face.
• Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.
• The town of Idaho Falls, Idaho, forbids anyone over the age of eighty-eight to ride a motorcycle.
• You may not fish on a camel's back.

Illinois
• A law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk. (Repealed)
• A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
• According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American".
• Champaign: One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.
• Chicago: Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire; It is illegal to give a dog whiskey; Kites may not be flown within the city limits; Spitting is forbidden
• Cicero: Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.
• Crete: It is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one's dog; Cars may not be driven through the town.
• Des Plaines: Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.
• Eureka: A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.
• Evanston: Bowling is forbidden; It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween; It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
• Fairfield: It is unlawful for "Negroes" to be within county boundaries from sundown to sunrise.
• Freeport: It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.
• Galesburg: There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.
• Homer: It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer.
• In Chicago it is also illegal to take a French poodle to the opera, and for women over 200 pounds (90 kilos) to ride horses in shorts.
• In Chicago, Illinois, it is illegal to fish in pajamas.
• In Chicago, people who are diseased, maimed, mutilated, or "otherwise an unsightly or disgusting object" are banned from going out in public.
• In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
• In Zion, Ill., it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.
• It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois.
• It is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one's dog.
• It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
• It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
• It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
• It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
• Joliet: Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine.
• Kenilworth: A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow; Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence.
• Kirkland: Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kirkland's streets.
• Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
• Moline: Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited; There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.
• Morton Grove: You may not own a handgun
• Normal: It is against the law to make faces at dogs.
• Orland Park: No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling.
• Ottawa: Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.
• Park Ridge: Trucks may only park inside closed garages.
• Peoria: Basketball hoops may not be installed on a driveway.
• Pullman: It is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb; It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck; It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
• The English language is not to be spoken.
• You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
• You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.
• You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation.
• You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.
• Zion: It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.

Indiana
• "Spiteful Gossip" and "talking behind a person's back" are illegal.
• A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.
• A person who dyes, stains, or otherwise alters the natural coloring of a bird or rabbit commits a Class B misdemeanor. (Ind. Code 15-2.1-21-13(b)
• A three dollar fine per pack will be imposed on anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for the Prevention of Gaming.
• All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.
• Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day.
• Auburn: It is illegal to bike, roller-skate, skateboard, or inline skate in a commercially zoned area. For these offenses, there is a fine of no more than $5 or the impounding of one's bicycle for a period not to exceed 30 days.
• Back in 1924, a monkey was convicted in South Bend of the crime of smoking a cigarette and sentenced to pay a 25 dollar fine and the trial costs.
• Bathing is prohibited during the winter.
• Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
• Beech Grove: It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the park.
• Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes.
• Citizens are not allowed to attend a cinema or theatre nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic.
• Drinking from your own bottle in a bar can lead to your arrest.
• Drinks on the house are illegal.
• Elkhart: It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid's ears.
• Evansville: While driving on Main Street you may not have your lights on.
• Fort Wayne: You may not sell or play on a radio broadcast, the record "It's In the Book".
• Gary: Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar.
• Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor.
• Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.
• If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Certain Immoral Practices.
• In Gary, Ind., persons are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.
• In South Bend, Indiana, it is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.
• It is against the law to pass a horse on the street.
• It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
• It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.
• It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid's ears.
• It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday.
• Liquor stores may not sell milk.
• Men are prohibited from standing in a bar.
• Monkeys are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend.
• Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.
• No one may catch a fish with his bare hands.
• One man may not back into a parking spot because it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.
• Oral sex is illegal.
• Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights.
• Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session.
• South Bend: It is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.
• State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post.
• Terre Haute: No one may spit on the sidewalk.
• The value of Pi is 4, and not 3.1415.
• Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar.
• You are not allowed to carry a cocktail from the bar to a table; the waiter or waitress has to do it.
• You are required to pour your drink into a glass.
• You can get out of paying for a dependent's medical care by praying for him/her.

Iowa
• A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
• Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants in Marshalltown, Iowa.
• In Dubuque any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building.
• In Fort Madison the fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire.
• In Marshalltown horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants.
• In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted."
• Indianola: The "Ice Cream Man" and his truck are banned.
• It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.
• Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
• One-armed piano players must perform for free.
• Ottumwa: Within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.
• Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or holding you in his arms.

Kansas
• Dodge City: It is illegal to spit on a sidewalk. All places of business must provide a horse water troft
• If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.
• In Natoma, Kansas, it's illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suites.
• In Wichita, at the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, all motorists are required to stop at the intersection, exit their vehicles, and fire three shotgun rounds, before continuing on their way.
• It is illegal to hunt whales.
• It is illegal to put ice cream on cherry pie in Kansas.
• Kansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to wear tail lights.
• Lawrence: All cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival. No one may wear a bee in their hat.
• No one may catch fish with his bare hands in Kansas.
• No one may catch fish with his bare hands.
• Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.
• Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
• Russell: Musical car horns are banned
• Salina: It is against the law to leave your car running unattended.
• The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
• Topeka: The installation of bathtubs is prohibited.
• Wichita: Before proceeding through the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, a motorist is required to get out of their vehicle and fire three shot gun rounds into the air. Any person caught using or carrying bean snappers or the like shall upon conviction, be fined. -City ordinance 349 of Wichita, Kansas.

Kentucky
• A Kentucky statute says: "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she is escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club." Later, an amendment proposed: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to any female weighing less than sixty pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds; nor shall it apply to female horses."
• All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating that the
• An excerpt from brilliant Kentucky state legislation. "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club". The following important ammendment however is to be considered here: "The provisions of this statuate shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds,
• Any person who appears on any highway, or upon the street of any city that has no police protection, when clothed only in ordinary bathing garb, shall be fined no less than five dollars nor more than twenty-five dollars." - KRS 436.140
• Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection with any religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100). -KRS 437.060 (Passed 1942, from Ky. Stat. sec. 1267a-1.).
• By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground".
• Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie.
• It is illegal in Kentucky to marry the same man more than 3 times.
• It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.
• It is illegal to shoot game out of the window of a moving vehicle, with the exception of a whale
• It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
• It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License.
• Lexington: It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket. By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."
• No person owning or controlling a billiard or pool table shall permit, for compensation or reward, any minor under eighteen (18) years of age to play any game on the table, unless such minor shall have first displayed an identification card containing his name, age, photograph, and the signature of his parents or guardian. The minor shall keep such identification card on his person, and it shall be subject to inspection at any time by any peace officer. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall keep and maintain a registration book in which each minor shall sign. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall supply a blank identification card to each parent or guardian who makes request for same. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than ten ($10) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100) for each offense. -KRS 436.320 (Passed 1893; Amended in 1954, Ky. Acts ch. 232, sec. 1)
• No person shall sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange, display or possess living baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits which have been dyed or colored; nor dye or color any baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits; nor sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange or to give away baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits, under two months of age in any quantity less than six, except that any rabbit weighing three pounds or more may be sold at an age of six weeks. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than $100 nor more than $500. -KRS 436.600 (Passed 1966 Ky. Acts ch. 215, sec. 5.)
• Owensboro: A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission. One may not receive anal sex.
All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating that the apiary from which the bees came was free from contagious or infectious disease. -KRS 252.130 (Passed in 1922; Repealed in 1948)

Louisiana
• An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
• Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault", while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault".
• It is illegal to gargle in public places.
• It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
• Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
• New Orleans: You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant. It illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it.
• Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
• Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
• You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.

Maine
• After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.
• In Augusta to stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.
• In Portland shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.
• It's unlawful to tickle a woman's chin with a feather duster in Portland.
• Shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.
• Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.
• You may not step out of a plane in flight.

Maryland
• Baltimore City: Though you may spit on a city roadway, spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited. You may not curse inside the city limits.
• Baltimore: It's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits. It's illegal to take a lion to the movies. It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10 fine. This would include joggers that go shirtless. (1898) -Park Rule 6 It is a violation of city code to sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within 1 week of the Easter holiday.
• Columbia: You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish. Though clotheslines are banned, clothes may be draped over a fence.
• Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.
• In Baltimore it is illegal to mistreat oysters.
• In Baltimore, it is illegal to wash or scrub sinks no matter how dirty they get.
• In Halethrope, Maryland kisses longer than one second are illegal.
• In Maryland, a woman may not go through her husband's pockets while he is sleeping.
• In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
• In the entire state of Maryland, it is illegal to give or recieve oral sex.
• It is a violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10 fine.
• It's illegal to take a lion to the movies.
• Ocean City: A law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk. Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited
• Thistles may not grow in one's yard.
• You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.
• You cannot swear while inside the city limits of Baltimore.
• You cannot throw a bail of hay out of a second story window in Annapolis.
• You may not curse inside the city limits.

Massachusetts
• A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
• Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.
• Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.
• All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
• An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
• An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
• At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
• Boston: It is illegal to play the fiddle. Two people may not kiss in front of a church. No more than two baths may be taken within the confines of the city. No one may cross the Boston Common without carrying a shotgun in case of bears. Anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public gardens/commons at any time except o Sundays. It is illegal to eat peanuts in church. An old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday. Duels to the death permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is present. Women may not wear heels over 3 inches in length while on the common. No one may take a bath without a prescription. It is illegal for any citizen to own more than three dogs.
• Bullets may not be used as currency.
• Burlington: You may not walk around with a "drink".
• Cambridge: It is illegal to shake carpets in the street, or to throw orange peels on the sidewalk. It costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling, soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on a Sunday.
• Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
• Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.
• Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.
• Hingham: You may not have colored lights on your house if it can be seen from Main Street. Only white lights may be visible. If you live on Main Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the historical society.
• Hopkinton: Though horses and cows are allowed on the common, dogs are prohibited.
• Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
• In 1659 the state of Massachusetts outlawed Christmas.
• In Boston, Massachusetts it is illegal to take a bath unless instructed to do so by a physician.
• In Salem, Massachesetts sleeping in the nude in a rented room is forbidden, even for married couples.
• It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.
• It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
• It is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder.
• It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost.
• It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines.
• It is unlawful to injure a football goal post, doing so is punishable by a $200 fine
• It's illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building.
• It's illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road.
• It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits.
• It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color.
• It's illegal to take a lion to the movies.
• Longmeadow: It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.
• Marlboro: It is illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun. Silly string is illegal in the city limits. One may not detonate a nuclear device in the city. It is illegal for any citizen to own more than two dogs.
• Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.
• Milford: Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
• Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
• Newton: All families must be given a hog from the town's mayor.
• No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
• North Andover: An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns.
• Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
• Public boxing matches are outlawed.
• Quakers and witches are banned.
• Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
• Southbridge, Massachusetts, makes it illegal to read books or newspapers after 8 p.m. in the streets.
• Tattooing and body piercing is illegal.
• Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
• There is a Massachusetts law requiring all dogs to have their hind legs tied during the month of April.
• Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
• Woburn: In bars, it is illegal to "walk around" with a beer in your hand.
• You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.
• You may not curse inside the city limits.
• You may not, at any time take a crap on your neighbour.

Michigan
• A Michigan law states that a wife's hair legally belongs to her husband.
• A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
• Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
• In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
• In Detroit, couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
• It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
• Smoking while in bed is illegal.
• You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.

Minnesota
• A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.
• A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
• All bathtubs must have feet.
• All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.
• Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
• Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.
• Clawson: There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
• Grand Haven: No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
• Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
• Harper Woods: It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.
• Hibbing: It shall be the duty of any policeman or any other officer to enforce the provisions of this Section, and if any cat is found running at large, or which is found in any street, alley or public place, it shall be the duty of any policeman or other officer of the city to kill such cat.
• In Minnesota, it's illegal to tease skunks. (As if being sprayed weren't enough of a deterrent.)
• It is illegal to sleep naked.
• It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
• Minneapolis: Red cars can not drive down Lake Street
• No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
• Oral sex is prohibited.
• Rochester: All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police. Smoking while in bed is illegal.
• St. Cloud: Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
• There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat's head brought into a town office.
• Virginia: You're not allowed to park your elephant on Main Street.
• Wayland: Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day.
• You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.
Kalamazoo: It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.

Mississippi
• Adultery or Fornication (living together while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.
• Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.
• Columbus: The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it.
• Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.
• It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.
• It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session.
• Oxford: It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session. One may not spit on the sidewalks on the square. Motor vehicles on the square are prohibited. Horn honking is not permitted as it might scare horses.
• Tylertown: It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street.
• Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.
• Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.
• Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $201 fine.

Missouri
• Buckner: In this small town of only 4,000, yard waste may be burned any day except Sunday.
• Children can buy shotguns in Kansas City, Missouri... but not toy cap guns.
• Excelsior Springs: Hard objects may not be thrown by hand. Worrying squirrels is not tolerated.
• Four women may not rent an apartment together.
• Hard objects may not be thrown by hand.
• In Merryville women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."
• In St. Louis, it's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.
• It is illegal to have oral sex.
• It is not illegal to speed.
• Kansas City: Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely. Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited.
• Marceline: Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.
• Marquette: It is illegal for more than four unrelated persons to occupy the same dwelling (The Brothel Law).
• Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.
• Minors in Kansas City, Missouri, are not allowed to purchase cap pistols; they may buy shotguns freely, however.
• Mole: Frightening a baby is in violation of the law.
• Natchez: It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.
• Purdy: Dancing is strictly prohibited.
• St. Louis: It's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. This law refers back to the extinct Italian celebration, Hill Day, when beer was served in buckets. A milk man may not run while on duty.
• University City: Four women may not rent an apartment together.

Montana
• It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
• It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
• Balls may not be thrown within the city limits.
• It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime in Montana.
• Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.
• Bozeman has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're nude.
• Seven or more Indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them.
• It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style.
In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
• It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.
• It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
• It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
• Excelsior Springs: Balls may not be thrown within the city limits.
• Helena: No item may be thrown across a street.
• Salisbury: Pop bottles are not to be thrown on the ground.
• Whitehall: It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.

Nebraska
• A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest.
• A parent can be arrested if her/his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.
• If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
• It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.
• It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
• It is Illegal to go whale fishing.
• It is illegal to sleep naked in a hotel/ motel room.
• Lehigh: Doughnut holes may not be sold
• Omaha: Sneezing or burping is illegal during a church service.
• The owner of every hotel in Hastings is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
• Waterloo: Barbers are forbidden from eating onions between 7 A.M. and 7 P.M.

Nevada
• A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day.
• Clark County: An ordinance makes bringing a concealable fire arm into the county illegal unless it is registered with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. In order to register a handgun, however, it must be brought in to the police station. Furthermore, you may not register a gun on the weekends, but the police may prosecute you at that time.
• Elko: Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask.
• Eureka: Men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.
• In Eureka, Nevada men who have mustaches are forbidden from kissing women.
• In Las Vegas, Nevada: It's against the law to pawn your dentures.
• In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.
• It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
• It's still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
• Nyala: A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day.

New Hampshire
• Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.
• If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ''maintaining the national forest without a permit''.
• It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name.
• It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
• New Hampshire law forbids you to tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
• On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
• White Mountain Nat. Forest: If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ''maintaining the national forest without a permit''.
• You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
• You may not run machinery on Sundays.

New Jersey
• Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.
• Bernards Township: It is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone".
• Caldwell: You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.
• Car dealerships are forbidden from opening on Sunday.
• Cranford: Citizens are not permitted to park their own boat on their lawn.
• Cresskill: All cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts.
• Elizabeth: It is forbidden for a woman, on a Sunday, to walk down Broad Street without wearing a petticoat.
• If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.
• In Berkley Heights you may not walk your cattle on the street on Sunday.
• In Newark it is illegal to buy ice cream after 6:00 p.m.
• It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
• It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.
• It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.
• It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals at the local zoo.
• It's also illegal in this state to throw a bad pickle on the street.
• Lovers in Liberty Corner should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.
• Manville: It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals a the local zoo.
• Newark: It is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.
• Ocean City: People may not slurp their soup. Pinball machines are not to be played on Sunday. Raw hamburger may not be sold.
• On a highway you can not park under a bridge.
• Raritan: Profanity is prohibited.
• Raw hamburger may not be sold.
• Sea Isle City: There will be no boiling of bones on the property.
• There is no horse racing allowed on the New Jersey Turnpike.
• Trenton: You may not throw a bad pickle in the street. Pickles are not to be consumed on Sundays.
• Unless you have a doctor's note, it's illegal to buy ice cream after 6 PM in Newark, New Jersey.
• You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full service only.
• You may not slurp your soup.

New Mexico
• Carrizozo: It's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
• Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
• In Albuquerque, New Mexico it is illegal for cab drivers to reach out and pull potential customers into their cabs.
• In Carlsbad it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.
• In recent years, several efforts have been made to legalize camel racing and ostrich racing in New Mexico, but to no avail. Those bills were defeated, but the legislature recently allowed gambling on bicycle races.
• It's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
• Las Cruces: You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.
• State officials ordered 400 words of "sexually explicit material" to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.

New York
• A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
• A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
• A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.
• Carmel: A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
• Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".
• Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs in Brooklyn, N.Y.
• During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.
• In Carmel, N.Y., a man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
• In Greene, New York, During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.
• In New York, you can teach your pet parrot to speak, but not to squawk.
• In Ocean City, New York It is

if you were to put a warning label on your last idiotic or jerk-off ex (basically the ex - or exes - or anyone you met that you hate with a passion or, if you don't hate, have a strong dislike for), what would it be?

mine:

WARNING: IF YOU CHOOSE TO DATE ME, YOU WILL GET ME LAID EVERY TIME WE SEE EACH OTHER.

Pull Up Your Pants, Says Dallas Man

Gandhi was a mystic from India. He wore sandals and walked on his feet all day, so he developed callouses. He didn’t have much to eat, so he was fragile. He didn’t have many tools to brush his teeth or keep his breath fresh and clean, so he was a supercallousedfragilemysticplaguedwithhalitosis!

i have an idea: although we have moderators, we should propose a BC Cabinet, consisting of faction leaders and officers, as well as moderators and the administrator (Whadu). the BC Congress is probably the same concept, but it's just an idea. we can talk about what goes on at BC, how the factions are doing, etc, etc. i'll talk to the Fresh Kids about this idea, especially when the case comes that we get so big that we'll need an executive cabinet/congress. anyway...

post your two cents here.

so tell me something about yourselves...

i'll start:

i'm trying to produce a tv show and write a novel while balancing school and the job and hope to take a hiphop class thru a studio rather than my school.

oh, and i ♥ talan torriero. thus the avatar image. and daddy yankee. and adam brody. and elijah wood. and channing tatum. and ephraim ellis. and steve byers. hehe.

basically i'm a little boy-crazy.

what color(s) does everyone wear the most?

i mostly wear pink and bright colors, but lately i've started wearing brown, cream, white, and black aside from the pink and bright colors i usually wear. i'm still hoping to add more color to my wardrobe, yet balance it w/cute neutrals.

if you haven't seen this show, SEE IT! it's one of the best shows on the planet. kinda like OC meets Law & Order/CSI. if you have seen this show, discuss your favorite episodes, storylines, characters, etc. here.